Yesterday I wrote that I had been existing on autopilot. I haven't been able to tap into the reason for this. I am happy. So has that made me complacent? When you realize some of your dreams, do the others drop away and become less important? Do you fall into a sense of security and stop seeking more?
I haven't reached all of my goals. The majority of the weight is still here although a respectable amount has gone. I am exercising. I am in my dream job. I have a great marriage. The house still maintains some clutter but a good amount of it is gone. My "to do" list remains a mile long. With all of that, how could I lose focus. It's not that I am not working towards the goals, it's just the loss of the hunger to succeed. A certain laziness has crept in. I lost focus.
Just writing the words yesterday that I'd lost focus has actually caused the focus to return! Maybe I just needed to put it out there - to stop hiding it inside and ruminating on it silently. Maybe it was just saying it out loud (or in my case, writing it out loud). Maybe all I had to do was face the fact that it was happening, put it out there, and admit that something was missing. That somehow the hunger had waned.
No more. I'm back! Another stumble but not a fall. And a new drive, a new sense of calm that I will finish what I've started. I won't fail.
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