Happy 28th birthday Rachael. My daughter, my friend, the light of my life.
Love,
Mom
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Happy Birthday Rachael!
Happy 28th birthday Rachael. My daughter, my friend, the light of my life.
Love,
Mom
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
The Ugly Truth
It was not a typical Monday for me. Usually I wake somewhat early and get things done. I might surf the net a bit. Then I'll exercise, tidy the house, and work on dinner for when I get home from work. I'll get to work at 12:30 and work until 6:00. Then home to the family for some R&R and dinner. But not this Monday. This Monday required that I be at a training class for work at 9:30am. The class ended at 12:30pm. From there, I struggled through a back-up in traffic (the result of construction) and arrived at work at 1:15pm. My schedule was light so I worked on laundry and preparation for a work event that began at 6:00pm and ran until 8:00pm. The spa I work at has a yearly event for those who have fought breast cancer or are currently waging war on the ugly disease. We had 25 participants signed up. The salon had several stations lined up to pamper the ladies - 15 minute facials, 15 minute chair massages, manicures, make-up applications, pink hair extensions and sweet and savory treats - all for their enjoyment. There was no charge. It was a gift to them. Something small to acknowledge their courage.
The ladies began arriving at 5:45 and the event started the promptly at 6:00. I provided facials to women of all ages and in all stages of their fight. Some had finished their battle. Some were losing their hair from the chemo. Some were in the process of growing their hair back. Some wore wigs that they took off for the facials. All were giddy about the services offered and surprisingly, many had never experienced a facial. We laughed and giggled over their stories and at other times, I choked back tears as they shared their battles. Some were silent and relaxed as I pampered their skin, and hopefully, their soul. I especially laughed with one when she moaned in pleasure over the "potion" that I'd just applied to her face and I had to laughingly tell her that it was water. I received hugs from almost all of them when I was finished. And thank you's. At the end of the evening, I felt good, renewed, grateful. I'd met many beautiful women. Strong women. Lovely, beautiful souls.
So then, you ask, what is the "ugly truth"? The truth is, that I got up the next day, grateful for my life and my health. Energized by the night before. And what did I do with that realization? I surfed the net. I caught up on my very delinquent email and Facebook accounts. I wrote a blog post about my grandma. I did not grab life by the horns and go boldly forward. And I felt guilty about it. And then I wondered.....
Does every single moment of our life have to be about "something"? Do we always have to be on point, moving forward, striving for goals? Or can we just have a moment to sit back and waste time? Can I catch up on TV shows that I've DVR'd without feeling like I should have done more? Can rest and mindlessness actually be a part of our day or week or month without ensuing guilt. In this quest for a better me, do I have the right not to exercise when I have plenty of time to do it? In the end, will it matter that the housework did not get done? That the floors are not mopped? I can do it all tomorrow. Or the next day. As long as the work gets done, does there always have to be a timeline? I don't know. But it's at the front of my mind today. And I think it's because I think of those ladies, whose strength and lives were compromised by an ugly disease and the corresponding treatments. Were they able to just enjoy a day of nothing without guilt for what they could have accomplished? Did they stare the unknown in the face and decide, that in the end, it was okay to do nothing considered productive in their day? Or did they feel guilt that with maybe little time left, they hadn't accomplished all they'd set out to do.
I don't want to be busy doing work all of the time or feeling guilt when I'm not doing the work I've imposed on myself. I want a clean house, a thin body and delicious homemade food on the table - but not at the expense of EVERY. SINGLE. MOMENT. of my life. It all works into my need for balance. For not feeling like I should do more, be more, accomplish more. When is it enough? I will continue struggling with this and trying to find the answer. In the meantime, I'll think I'll go have a glass of Diet Pepsi and watch the episode "Beat Bobby Flay" that is on my DVR.
Have a wonderful, relaxing, balanced day!
The ladies began arriving at 5:45 and the event started the promptly at 6:00. I provided facials to women of all ages and in all stages of their fight. Some had finished their battle. Some were losing their hair from the chemo. Some were in the process of growing their hair back. Some wore wigs that they took off for the facials. All were giddy about the services offered and surprisingly, many had never experienced a facial. We laughed and giggled over their stories and at other times, I choked back tears as they shared their battles. Some were silent and relaxed as I pampered their skin, and hopefully, their soul. I especially laughed with one when she moaned in pleasure over the "potion" that I'd just applied to her face and I had to laughingly tell her that it was water. I received hugs from almost all of them when I was finished. And thank you's. At the end of the evening, I felt good, renewed, grateful. I'd met many beautiful women. Strong women. Lovely, beautiful souls.
So then, you ask, what is the "ugly truth"? The truth is, that I got up the next day, grateful for my life and my health. Energized by the night before. And what did I do with that realization? I surfed the net. I caught up on my very delinquent email and Facebook accounts. I wrote a blog post about my grandma. I did not grab life by the horns and go boldly forward. And I felt guilty about it. And then I wondered.....
Does every single moment of our life have to be about "something"? Do we always have to be on point, moving forward, striving for goals? Or can we just have a moment to sit back and waste time? Can I catch up on TV shows that I've DVR'd without feeling like I should have done more? Can rest and mindlessness actually be a part of our day or week or month without ensuing guilt. In this quest for a better me, do I have the right not to exercise when I have plenty of time to do it? In the end, will it matter that the housework did not get done? That the floors are not mopped? I can do it all tomorrow. Or the next day. As long as the work gets done, does there always have to be a timeline? I don't know. But it's at the front of my mind today. And I think it's because I think of those ladies, whose strength and lives were compromised by an ugly disease and the corresponding treatments. Were they able to just enjoy a day of nothing without guilt for what they could have accomplished? Did they stare the unknown in the face and decide, that in the end, it was okay to do nothing considered productive in their day? Or did they feel guilt that with maybe little time left, they hadn't accomplished all they'd set out to do.
I don't want to be busy doing work all of the time or feeling guilt when I'm not doing the work I've imposed on myself. I want a clean house, a thin body and delicious homemade food on the table - but not at the expense of EVERY. SINGLE. MOMENT. of my life. It all works into my need for balance. For not feeling like I should do more, be more, accomplish more. When is it enough? I will continue struggling with this and trying to find the answer. In the meantime, I'll think I'll go have a glass of Diet Pepsi and watch the episode "Beat Bobby Flay" that is on my DVR.
Have a wonderful, relaxing, balanced day!
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Life, Death and Mourning
There are two certainties in life: new life and death. Babies are born and we rejoice in them. Loved ones die and we mourn them. Many people I know, yearly mourn the deaths of loved ones on the dates of their death. I, on the other hand, mourn those losses at odd times. Today I mourn the loss of my grandmother. I do not remember the exact date of her death. I remember always that it was the weekend of Thanksgiving. For the first time in my life, it was not grandma that made Thanksgiving dinner but my aunt who'd always lived with her. My aunt made all the dishes that grandma was "famous" for. The turkey (overcooked), the jello salads, the stuffing, potatoes and cabbage salad. It was at grandma's house and the menu was the same, but she was not there. I'd gone to see her before dinner at the hospital where she was a patient. It had been a bad day for her. She was weak and not feeling well. I remember crying when I left. Afraid that she would leave us. She did leave us a couple of days later. On a day when she was doing well. It was the one day I hadn't gone to see her. There was no warning - no call from the hospital that the time was near. My father and aunt had been to see her and she was chipper and talkative. We received a call in the evening that she'd passed. I was devastated. I hadn't been there. It took a while for me to understand, but she went that day because I hadn't gone to see her. Each time she'd talked about being "ready to go", it had been me to tell her that I wasn't ready for that. That she couldn't leave me. I held her back. I wouldn't let her say good-bye or tell her that it was okay to go.
Today I miss her. I miss her laugh. I miss her tapping fingers. I miss her love, her soft skin and the wrinkles on her face. Every year I remember her birthday, but not the date of her death. I remember the birthday celebrations - the picnic at the park that she requested for her birthday celebration. I remember her lawn chair and her request for simplicity in the birthday dinner menu. I remember her request that I make her the Almond Joy Cheesecake that she loved for her birthday cake. I remember how for years she would drive to my house to watch my children while I was at work so my husband could continue to golf on his league. I remember her love for her family. I remember her old gold car the size of a tank. I remember the blond brownies she would make for each of us for our birthdays. I remember her wanting of nothing - her simple requests for little things. She was never one who wanted for more. A better, more loving soul has never walked this earth.
I am happy that I am not a person who mourns those lost on the day of their death. I am glad that I remember their birthdays and celebrate them. I wish that same ability for everyone. And I hope that someday, when my time here is done, that people remember me the way that I remember grandma. With love and joy and memories of all that was good about me.
I miss you GG. I always will.
Today I miss her. I miss her laugh. I miss her tapping fingers. I miss her love, her soft skin and the wrinkles on her face. Every year I remember her birthday, but not the date of her death. I remember the birthday celebrations - the picnic at the park that she requested for her birthday celebration. I remember her lawn chair and her request for simplicity in the birthday dinner menu. I remember her request that I make her the Almond Joy Cheesecake that she loved for her birthday cake. I remember how for years she would drive to my house to watch my children while I was at work so my husband could continue to golf on his league. I remember her love for her family. I remember her old gold car the size of a tank. I remember the blond brownies she would make for each of us for our birthdays. I remember her wanting of nothing - her simple requests for little things. She was never one who wanted for more. A better, more loving soul has never walked this earth.
I am happy that I am not a person who mourns those lost on the day of their death. I am glad that I remember their birthdays and celebrate them. I wish that same ability for everyone. And I hope that someday, when my time here is done, that people remember me the way that I remember grandma. With love and joy and memories of all that was good about me.
I miss you GG. I always will.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Feeding the Soul
I love camping. It feeds my soul. It grounds me and brings me peace.
I have a tent. I have a camp stove. I have a portable grill. I have sleeping bags, and of course, at my age, I have an air mattress. Last weekend, Ken and I went to Letchworth State Park for a quick camping trip. We left late Friday afternoon and returned Sunday afternoon. 48 hours of bliss. 48 hours of no TV, very little social media (we still had our Iphones) and time spent only with each other. 48 hours of campfires, hiking, breathing the fresh air and marveling at the beauty around us. I don't know if there is anything better.
I love the simplicity of life in the woods. I love the smell of bacon and coffee cooking on the camp stove.
I love the sounds of the camp ground, the rustle of the wind in the trees and the sounds of the birds and critters. I even loved it when one of the trees dropped a leaf in my cup of coffee and later, an acorn on my head. It was "nature" comedy of the simplest form.
I love the smell and crackle of the campfires and the murmur of the voices of other campers in the still night air.
And I love the s'mores. The ooey, gooey, chocolatey, marshmallow-y goodness.
I've decided that I have to purchase a copy of Walden by Henry David Thoreau and re-read it. On those days when life is busy, when I'm feeling the stress of whatever the topic of the day may be, I'll open the pages and remember how life is in the woods. Where things are simple and uncomplicated. And then I'll close my eyes and remember my time in the woods. And I'll relive the peace and joy that comes with the simplicity of just enjoying the surroundings, living only in that moment, with no distractions. And it will remind me, once again, of how easy it is to find joy in the simple knowledge that I need nothing more. That my plate is full. That my life is beautiful.
I have a tent. I have a camp stove. I have a portable grill. I have sleeping bags, and of course, at my age, I have an air mattress. Last weekend, Ken and I went to Letchworth State Park for a quick camping trip. We left late Friday afternoon and returned Sunday afternoon. 48 hours of bliss. 48 hours of no TV, very little social media (we still had our Iphones) and time spent only with each other. 48 hours of campfires, hiking, breathing the fresh air and marveling at the beauty around us. I don't know if there is anything better.
I love the simplicity of life in the woods. I love the smell of bacon and coffee cooking on the camp stove.
I love the sounds of the camp ground, the rustle of the wind in the trees and the sounds of the birds and critters. I even loved it when one of the trees dropped a leaf in my cup of coffee and later, an acorn on my head. It was "nature" comedy of the simplest form.
I love the smell and crackle of the campfires and the murmur of the voices of other campers in the still night air.
And I love the s'mores. The ooey, gooey, chocolatey, marshmallow-y goodness.
I've decided that I have to purchase a copy of Walden by Henry David Thoreau and re-read it. On those days when life is busy, when I'm feeling the stress of whatever the topic of the day may be, I'll open the pages and remember how life is in the woods. Where things are simple and uncomplicated. And then I'll close my eyes and remember my time in the woods. And I'll relive the peace and joy that comes with the simplicity of just enjoying the surroundings, living only in that moment, with no distractions. And it will remind me, once again, of how easy it is to find joy in the simple knowledge that I need nothing more. That my plate is full. That my life is beautiful.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Happy Birthday Kenny
55 years ago, my husband was born. He was born to two wonderful parents and he got the best of both of them. Like his mother, his hair and eyes are dark and he has unlimited energy. Like his father, he got his height and his gentle soul and his sweet disposition. And 33 years ago, I was the lucky recipient of his love and attention.
Today is my husband's birthday. It's a holiday for me. A day when my soulmate was born (I hate that word but it's so accurate in this case). The man who stands beside me in good times and bad. The man who loves me in sickness and health, through thick and thin, skinny and fat. The man who encourages my dreams and often joins me in them. The man who trains beside me for athletic events and eats the "diet" food and never complains. The man who rubs my back when it's tired and sore - or my ankles when they ache from carrying the weight of my body and my world. The man who gave me two beautiful children and is the best father they could have ever hoped for. He loves us all, with no condition.
I hope he knows what a blessing he is to all of us who know and love him. I hope he knows that I would give my life for him. That I am thankful for every single day I have with him. That I still get butterflies when he walks in the room and that the best part of my day is when we shut off the lights and turn to each other in bed, find our places, snuggled together, tired, secure.
I love you Ken. I always have. I always will. You are a blessing in my life and I am grateful for all that you've given me - your love, you life, your strength and your heart. I live to give you all of me.
Happy birthday.
Today is my husband's birthday. It's a holiday for me. A day when my soulmate was born (I hate that word but it's so accurate in this case). The man who stands beside me in good times and bad. The man who loves me in sickness and health, through thick and thin, skinny and fat. The man who encourages my dreams and often joins me in them. The man who trains beside me for athletic events and eats the "diet" food and never complains. The man who rubs my back when it's tired and sore - or my ankles when they ache from carrying the weight of my body and my world. The man who gave me two beautiful children and is the best father they could have ever hoped for. He loves us all, with no condition.
I hope he knows what a blessing he is to all of us who know and love him. I hope he knows that I would give my life for him. That I am thankful for every single day I have with him. That I still get butterflies when he walks in the room and that the best part of my day is when we shut off the lights and turn to each other in bed, find our places, snuggled together, tired, secure.
I love you Ken. I always have. I always will. You are a blessing in my life and I am grateful for all that you've given me - your love, you life, your strength and your heart. I live to give you all of me.
Happy birthday.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
A Marriage
Tomorrow is a big day for our family. My niece Jessica (a.k.a. Binky) is getting married! She is marrying a boy I've come to love - someone I feel a kindred spirit with. They're a beautiful couple - physically and in their souls. They are joyous, fun, loving, and kind. I wish them joy on this special day - the same kind of joy they bring to all those who know them. And I wish them a LIFETIME full of joy and happiness.
Have a wonderul day Jess and Dan. Have a wonderful life. Know that I love you and will always be here, cheering you on and praying that you have a life of wonder and happiness. Continue to look at each other in the light of love and cherish your time together. Always remember why you took this step. Remember the new love of your first days together. Build on that. You are destined for all good things.
I love you both.
Aunt Wanda
Have a wonderul day Jess and Dan. Have a wonderful life. Know that I love you and will always be here, cheering you on and praying that you have a life of wonder and happiness. Continue to look at each other in the light of love and cherish your time together. Always remember why you took this step. Remember the new love of your first days together. Build on that. You are destined for all good things.
I love you both.
Aunt Wanda
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Making Time - Finding Balance
I know several people who make time for themselves. They exercise. They meet with friends. They put themselves first. And it all seems effortless. I was not born with that gene. I tend to do everything else first and give myself whatever time is left. There often isn't any time left for me. I struggle with finding the balance and time to do all that I want to do - to achieve and meet my deadlines and goals (most self imposed). I often find laziness at the core. I'm too tired. I don't have the energy. Excuses. A general disrespect for my own goals.
I often list the things I want to accomplish. The list goes on and on and never seems to end. And I don't complete all that I want to. I over-schedule, over-commit, spend too much time on things that don't matter and not enough on what does. Finding the "balance" often seems to evade me.
Because of this, I have decided to make a new list. A list of what really matters. A list of the goals that are most important to me. A list of secondary goals. What I fear, is that the list of what really matters will still be too large and will be unattainable. That there still won't be enough hours in the day to complete them all - to concentrate on what is most important. But how ridiculous is that? Why would I fear putting in order that which is most important to me? Wouldn't it be better to at least dig in and try rather than let fear paralyze any action at all?
A preliminary list of things that are important to me looks like this:
1) Health - figure out a method of eating that will sustain me while giving me optimum health and well being and will fit within my tight budget.
2) Continue to study my craft and become the best I can be. This includes time for continued self study in all aspects of my career and Reiki.
3) Meditate. Take the time to center myself. To give myself the quiet that I seek.
4) Spend time with God. This could be part of the meditation process. I struggle with this because my prayer time is full of thoughts and thanksgiving while meditation requires quieting of the mind. But does prayer equal meditation? Hmmmmm.
5) Foster my family. Give them the love and attention that they need.
6) Continue to organize my life.
7) Get enough sleep.
8) Exercise
9) Blog consistently. Through writing, I find that my thoughts and feelings take wing. I am energized, focused and reminded.
This is preliminary. There is so much more. What should rise to the top? What should fall away. It's all important to me. Maybe some of it should be - maybe some of it shouldn't be. Maybe I'm even more overwhelmed just looking at it. I think the important thing is to study it. I think that for me, the key is to decide where I want to be, prioritize, set the intention, and focus. I have to stop trying to be everything, all the time. That is my goal for this week. Get my goals in order. Give my intentions to the universe and soldier on. Stop wasting time and give my time the respect it deserves. Stop giving myself the scraps and respect myself enough to put myself at the top.
I often list the things I want to accomplish. The list goes on and on and never seems to end. And I don't complete all that I want to. I over-schedule, over-commit, spend too much time on things that don't matter and not enough on what does. Finding the "balance" often seems to evade me.
Because of this, I have decided to make a new list. A list of what really matters. A list of the goals that are most important to me. A list of secondary goals. What I fear, is that the list of what really matters will still be too large and will be unattainable. That there still won't be enough hours in the day to complete them all - to concentrate on what is most important. But how ridiculous is that? Why would I fear putting in order that which is most important to me? Wouldn't it be better to at least dig in and try rather than let fear paralyze any action at all?
A preliminary list of things that are important to me looks like this:
1) Health - figure out a method of eating that will sustain me while giving me optimum health and well being and will fit within my tight budget.
2) Continue to study my craft and become the best I can be. This includes time for continued self study in all aspects of my career and Reiki.
3) Meditate. Take the time to center myself. To give myself the quiet that I seek.
4) Spend time with God. This could be part of the meditation process. I struggle with this because my prayer time is full of thoughts and thanksgiving while meditation requires quieting of the mind. But does prayer equal meditation? Hmmmmm.
5) Foster my family. Give them the love and attention that they need.
6) Continue to organize my life.
7) Get enough sleep.
8) Exercise
9) Blog consistently. Through writing, I find that my thoughts and feelings take wing. I am energized, focused and reminded.
This is preliminary. There is so much more. What should rise to the top? What should fall away. It's all important to me. Maybe some of it should be - maybe some of it shouldn't be. Maybe I'm even more overwhelmed just looking at it. I think the important thing is to study it. I think that for me, the key is to decide where I want to be, prioritize, set the intention, and focus. I have to stop trying to be everything, all the time. That is my goal for this week. Get my goals in order. Give my intentions to the universe and soldier on. Stop wasting time and give my time the respect it deserves. Stop giving myself the scraps and respect myself enough to put myself at the top.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Coming Clean
Yesterday I wrote that I had been existing on autopilot. I haven't been able to tap into the reason for this. I am happy. So has that made me complacent? When you realize some of your dreams, do the others drop away and become less important? Do you fall into a sense of security and stop seeking more?
I haven't reached all of my goals. The majority of the weight is still here although a respectable amount has gone. I am exercising. I am in my dream job. I have a great marriage. The house still maintains some clutter but a good amount of it is gone. My "to do" list remains a mile long. With all of that, how could I lose focus. It's not that I am not working towards the goals, it's just the loss of the hunger to succeed. A certain laziness has crept in. I lost focus.
Just writing the words yesterday that I'd lost focus has actually caused the focus to return! Maybe I just needed to put it out there - to stop hiding it inside and ruminating on it silently. Maybe it was just saying it out loud (or in my case, writing it out loud). Maybe all I had to do was face the fact that it was happening, put it out there, and admit that something was missing. That somehow the hunger had waned.
No more. I'm back! Another stumble but not a fall. And a new drive, a new sense of calm that I will finish what I've started. I won't fail.
I haven't reached all of my goals. The majority of the weight is still here although a respectable amount has gone. I am exercising. I am in my dream job. I have a great marriage. The house still maintains some clutter but a good amount of it is gone. My "to do" list remains a mile long. With all of that, how could I lose focus. It's not that I am not working towards the goals, it's just the loss of the hunger to succeed. A certain laziness has crept in. I lost focus.
Just writing the words yesterday that I'd lost focus has actually caused the focus to return! Maybe I just needed to put it out there - to stop hiding it inside and ruminating on it silently. Maybe it was just saying it out loud (or in my case, writing it out loud). Maybe all I had to do was face the fact that it was happening, put it out there, and admit that something was missing. That somehow the hunger had waned.
No more. I'm back! Another stumble but not a fall. And a new drive, a new sense of calm that I will finish what I've started. I won't fail.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Finding My Center Again
I have been lazy, distracted, uninspired. I get up. I exercise. I surf the net. I visit my favorite blogs. I clean the house. I get ready for work. I go to work. I come home. I sleep. Rinse. Repeat.
I have not been looking for inspiration lately. I have become complacent, happy where I am. Working towards goals, slowly achieving some. I have been building clientele. I have been losing weight. I have been exercising. But I'm running on autopilot. I seem to have lost my excitement lately. I don't know why. I don't like it.
So my new goal...find my passion again. Dig in. Find the excitement. Laugh more. Think more. Meditate. Self Reiki. Remember what moves me. Remember my journey. Stop existing. Start consciously living.
No. More. Autopilot.
I have not been looking for inspiration lately. I have become complacent, happy where I am. Working towards goals, slowly achieving some. I have been building clientele. I have been losing weight. I have been exercising. But I'm running on autopilot. I seem to have lost my excitement lately. I don't know why. I don't like it.
So my new goal...find my passion again. Dig in. Find the excitement. Laugh more. Think more. Meditate. Self Reiki. Remember what moves me. Remember my journey. Stop existing. Start consciously living.
No. More. Autopilot.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Why did I weep?
Music has always been important to me - since a very young age. When I exercise, I clip my tiny IPod Shuffle to my shirt and find energy in the songs I've chosen. I've mentioned one of them before.
Rewind to yesterday. I was out for my walk and was on my last lap when a song began to play. A song that I've always loved. A song I would sing at the top of my lungs if no one could hear (and do sometimes when I'm alone since I can't carry a tune to save my life.) The song usually energizes me but yesterday, it made me weep. Right there, on the track. The lyrics, the singer, the angst in her voice - it brought emotions to the surface.
Save me.
Save me from the nothing I've become.
I can't stop thinking about those lyrics. What despair did the author of that song feel when they wrote them? Have I felt them? Do I know someone who does feel that despair? And even worse, do I not recognize that despair and am I not there to help. What brings a person to the conclusion that they are "nothing". And can they be saved? Maybe I wept for times of my own despair. Maybe I wept for some unknown person feeling that despair Maybe I wept for anyone that ever feels like they are nothing. Nothing. Such a lonely, powerful word.
Rewind to yesterday. I was out for my walk and was on my last lap when a song began to play. A song that I've always loved. A song I would sing at the top of my lungs if no one could hear (and do sometimes when I'm alone since I can't carry a tune to save my life.) The song usually energizes me but yesterday, it made me weep. Right there, on the track. The lyrics, the singer, the angst in her voice - it brought emotions to the surface.
Save me.
Save me from the nothing I've become.
I can't stop thinking about those lyrics. What despair did the author of that song feel when they wrote them? Have I felt them? Do I know someone who does feel that despair? And even worse, do I not recognize that despair and am I not there to help. What brings a person to the conclusion that they are "nothing". And can they be saved? Maybe I wept for times of my own despair. Maybe I wept for some unknown person feeling that despair Maybe I wept for anyone that ever feels like they are nothing. Nothing. Such a lonely, powerful word.
Monday, June 30, 2014
Ultimate Compliments
There are things in life that make you take pause and realize that you DO make a difference. Things that make you realize that you are where you are supposed to be, doing what you're supposed to be doing, creating what you're destined to create. Those little moments in time that give you the boost to keep going, to keep learning, to keep trying, to keep giving. I've had some of those and they give me joy. I draw on those when the going gets tough and I wonder why I'm where I am, doing what I'm doing, being who I am, struggling with uncertainty. I'll give you examples.
1) The beautiful cards I receive on my birthday or mother's day that have notes written from my husband, my daughter (whose prose is epic), my son or my parents. Words they write in addition to the Hallmark sentiments that tell me that I am important to them. I read them over and over. I have them stashed in a drawer and sometimes I take them out and read them just to remember that they do see my love for them and they appreciate the little things.
2) A note from a former boss along with a gift card thanking me for the "joy" I bring to the workplace. Nothing more. I didn't do a special report. I didn't save the company money. I just shared my joy and he thanked me for that.
3) A client at work who has talked about me to her friends. A friend of hers is going through some tough times and will be visiting my client from out-of-town. My client wanted me to work on her friend but it was my day off. I agreed to come in to do the service. She cried and offered to pay me more for my time. No need. I am just so happy that someone thinks my healing is just what her friend needs. And yes, healing was the word she used. Wow.
4) My friend who calls me to talk about some problems she's having. At the end, she tells me that I am her greatest cheerleader and that she just needed that from me that day. She just needed to know that someone believed in her and she knew I was that person.
Four little examples of many. I know you have them too. Remember how great you are. What a good friend, mother, father, sister, brother, daughter or son. Remember those times when someone thought you brought something to their lives. Big or small, they all add up. You are great in your little corner of the world. You are important. You are loved and needed. How wonderful is that?
1) The beautiful cards I receive on my birthday or mother's day that have notes written from my husband, my daughter (whose prose is epic), my son or my parents. Words they write in addition to the Hallmark sentiments that tell me that I am important to them. I read them over and over. I have them stashed in a drawer and sometimes I take them out and read them just to remember that they do see my love for them and they appreciate the little things.
2) A note from a former boss along with a gift card thanking me for the "joy" I bring to the workplace. Nothing more. I didn't do a special report. I didn't save the company money. I just shared my joy and he thanked me for that.
3) A client at work who has talked about me to her friends. A friend of hers is going through some tough times and will be visiting my client from out-of-town. My client wanted me to work on her friend but it was my day off. I agreed to come in to do the service. She cried and offered to pay me more for my time. No need. I am just so happy that someone thinks my healing is just what her friend needs. And yes, healing was the word she used. Wow.
4) My friend who calls me to talk about some problems she's having. At the end, she tells me that I am her greatest cheerleader and that she just needed that from me that day. She just needed to know that someone believed in her and she knew I was that person.
Four little examples of many. I know you have them too. Remember how great you are. What a good friend, mother, father, sister, brother, daughter or son. Remember those times when someone thought you brought something to their lives. Big or small, they all add up. You are great in your little corner of the world. You are important. You are loved and needed. How wonderful is that?
Monday, June 16, 2014
Too Many to Count
So many blessings - too many to count.
It's been awhile since my last post. In that time, we've celebrated two major holidays - Mother's Day and Father's Day. Maybe these days were created by the greeting card companies like Hallmark, but to me, they are major. We should honor the mothers and fathers in our lives every day, but life gets in the way. We get busy, we forget to call. At least these holidays make us pause and remember those who've played such major roles in our lives. My mother and father are wonderful and I love them so much. I am so grateful for all they've given me - my very existence, my childhood memories, and love. And there's my in-laws, who did the same for my husband, the father of my own children. Because of them, I have the most wonderful husband and my children have the most wonderful father and I have wonderful in-laws. In my blessings, these are my greatest: my parents, my in-laws, my husband and my children. My children. The gift that keeps on giving. The lights of my life. I hope each of these blessings realize how important they are to me.
And then there are the other blessings - my extended family. Nieces, nephews, sisters and brothers-in law, aunts, uncles, and friends. Each brings light and love into an already full existence. My new job. My co-workers. I have a new co-worker who is going out of her way to help me be successful. I try to thank her so she knows how much I appreciate her help. My new bosses who have made me feel so welcome to the family that is their livelihood.
And as I sit here typing, I look at my garden and I'm thankful for the beauty that is my flowers and herbs. The smell, the taste and the beauty. I watch the water sparkling in the pool and I'm grateful for the blessing of the cool water on my skin on a hot day. I look at my home and I'm grateful for the comfort and beauty that surrounds me. A home filled with love and so much laughter.
And I'm grateful for a God that loves me and listens when I speak. A God that reminds me that I am here to serve and that my job is to bring joy to this little corner of my world. You see, in my younger days, I ruminated on "my purpose in life". I wondered why others ran companies or became famous or did "great" things and I had no real definition of what it was that I was supposed to do. And then one day, through prayer and meditation, I realized that greatness is not the same as fame or fortune. That greatness is living to your own potential. And that my greatness was in being myself and bringing my limitless joy and love to those around me. What a blessing to realize that you are enough. That doing what you love, and loving where you are, is the example you are supposed to set. God whispered to me long ago that I am a healer. No, I do not lay hands on the sick and cure their illnesses, but I am a friend and a mother, a co-worker, a daughter - so many things. And through each of these, I can lend an ear or a hand. I can help to rebuild what has been broken. I can offer a hug. I can relax you through Reiki or through a facial. I can bring you peace through my hands and my heart. What greater blessing is there?
When life is at it's worst, remember to look at your blessings. Look with new eyes. House a mess? You are blessed with stuff. Horrible job? You are blessed with a job and knowing that you want something else. The blessing is in discovering there is something else and having the strength and fortitude to pursue other avenues. An illness? I don't know where this blessing will lie - it is for you to discover.
Just remember to look for the blessings. They are there. Hidden in sorrow. Hidden in overwhelming situations. Right there in the joyful times - out in the open, right there for you to see. Stop and smell the roses. Even that ability is a blessing. Enjoy it, savor it. Keep it in your memory bank for the hard times. Just look for your blessings. They're there. Everywhere. Be thankful for them - all of them. The big and the small.
It's been awhile since my last post. In that time, we've celebrated two major holidays - Mother's Day and Father's Day. Maybe these days were created by the greeting card companies like Hallmark, but to me, they are major. We should honor the mothers and fathers in our lives every day, but life gets in the way. We get busy, we forget to call. At least these holidays make us pause and remember those who've played such major roles in our lives. My mother and father are wonderful and I love them so much. I am so grateful for all they've given me - my very existence, my childhood memories, and love. And there's my in-laws, who did the same for my husband, the father of my own children. Because of them, I have the most wonderful husband and my children have the most wonderful father and I have wonderful in-laws. In my blessings, these are my greatest: my parents, my in-laws, my husband and my children. My children. The gift that keeps on giving. The lights of my life. I hope each of these blessings realize how important they are to me.
And then there are the other blessings - my extended family. Nieces, nephews, sisters and brothers-in law, aunts, uncles, and friends. Each brings light and love into an already full existence. My new job. My co-workers. I have a new co-worker who is going out of her way to help me be successful. I try to thank her so she knows how much I appreciate her help. My new bosses who have made me feel so welcome to the family that is their livelihood.
And as I sit here typing, I look at my garden and I'm thankful for the beauty that is my flowers and herbs. The smell, the taste and the beauty. I watch the water sparkling in the pool and I'm grateful for the blessing of the cool water on my skin on a hot day. I look at my home and I'm grateful for the comfort and beauty that surrounds me. A home filled with love and so much laughter.
And I'm grateful for a God that loves me and listens when I speak. A God that reminds me that I am here to serve and that my job is to bring joy to this little corner of my world. You see, in my younger days, I ruminated on "my purpose in life". I wondered why others ran companies or became famous or did "great" things and I had no real definition of what it was that I was supposed to do. And then one day, through prayer and meditation, I realized that greatness is not the same as fame or fortune. That greatness is living to your own potential. And that my greatness was in being myself and bringing my limitless joy and love to those around me. What a blessing to realize that you are enough. That doing what you love, and loving where you are, is the example you are supposed to set. God whispered to me long ago that I am a healer. No, I do not lay hands on the sick and cure their illnesses, but I am a friend and a mother, a co-worker, a daughter - so many things. And through each of these, I can lend an ear or a hand. I can help to rebuild what has been broken. I can offer a hug. I can relax you through Reiki or through a facial. I can bring you peace through my hands and my heart. What greater blessing is there?
When life is at it's worst, remember to look at your blessings. Look with new eyes. House a mess? You are blessed with stuff. Horrible job? You are blessed with a job and knowing that you want something else. The blessing is in discovering there is something else and having the strength and fortitude to pursue other avenues. An illness? I don't know where this blessing will lie - it is for you to discover.
Just remember to look for the blessings. They are there. Hidden in sorrow. Hidden in overwhelming situations. Right there in the joyful times - out in the open, right there for you to see. Stop and smell the roses. Even that ability is a blessing. Enjoy it, savor it. Keep it in your memory bank for the hard times. Just look for your blessings. They're there. Everywhere. Be thankful for them - all of them. The big and the small.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
The dreams that you wish....will come true
I got a job. As an esthetician. Goal realized? Check!
Sometimes you dream a dream and it becomes a reality. And a disappointment. Sometimes you dream a dream and it becomes a reality - and it's everything you dreamed it would be. I'm there. I'm living one of my dreams. I love my job. I go to work each day excited about the opportunities ahead of me. Anxious to see what the day will bring. Of course, since I'm just starting out, my days consist of a lot of laundry (you wouldn't believe the amount of laundry generated in a spa) or cleaning up the backbar and helping co-workers break down or set up rooms. But I'm there and I'm happy to be there. And I'm grateful that every day brings me more joy and experience.
I've had so many dreams in my life. My husband is one of them. My children. Vacations. Events. A triathlon. All these things rolled up into one beautiful dream - one fantastic life. And now, at 53, a career dream. I am proof that it's never too late to do something new. You're never too old to dream.
Sometimes you dream a dream and it becomes a reality. And a disappointment. Sometimes you dream a dream and it becomes a reality - and it's everything you dreamed it would be. I'm there. I'm living one of my dreams. I love my job. I go to work each day excited about the opportunities ahead of me. Anxious to see what the day will bring. Of course, since I'm just starting out, my days consist of a lot of laundry (you wouldn't believe the amount of laundry generated in a spa) or cleaning up the backbar and helping co-workers break down or set up rooms. But I'm there and I'm happy to be there. And I'm grateful that every day brings me more joy and experience.
I've had so many dreams in my life. My husband is one of them. My children. Vacations. Events. A triathlon. All these things rolled up into one beautiful dream - one fantastic life. And now, at 53, a career dream. I am proof that it's never too late to do something new. You're never too old to dream.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Who Wants to be a Millionaire....or maybe an Esthetician?
Flash back about 20 years. I'm lying in a dark room. There's music playing. I'm lying on my back in a warm bed. There's a woman there, applying lovely smelling potions to my face. I am calm. Happy. She massages my arms and shoulders...my scalp...my ears. And in this moment, this hour of luxury, I have an epiphany. This is what I want to do with my life. I want to give others this experience. I want to live this atmosphere. I want to breathe it in. I find joy here. I want to be an esthetician.
I'd had a facial before. The room was cold. The esthetician smelled of cigarettes. I walked away none the better for the experience. But this time, it was different. I felt peace. And comfort. And joy. And a calling. For 20 years, this calling has been on the back burner. I've wanted it. I've dreamed of it. But I was in a comfortable job and raising my family. It just wasn't the time.
Fast forward almost 20 years later. I lost my job. In the devastation that comes with losing something that you've worked hard for over a 32 year period, came an excitement for what lie ahead. I would finally go to school and become what I'd dreamed. But then came a job offer to do the same job that I'd always done. Out of fear, I accepted. Fear and my belief that things happen for a reason - that my path included this new job. So I took it. But I also continued my journey to becoming what I'd wanted to be - an esthetician. I signed up for school. I loved school. When I did my first facial, I felt the joy I'd coveted. And it went on. Each facial, each body treatment, each service to a client, brought me new relationships. I met people who needed what I had to give - an hour of relaxation and touch. An hour of solitude and the gift of my attention. I loved it. All of it.
Sure, I'd love to be a millionaire too. As an esthetician, I will never achieve that status unless I win the lottery - which has nothing to do with esthetics! But I can tell you, that being a millionaire has never been my calling. I am so happy that I've followed my heart. Listen closely when your heart speaks. Keep dreaming. Keep dreaming.
I'd had a facial before. The room was cold. The esthetician smelled of cigarettes. I walked away none the better for the experience. But this time, it was different. I felt peace. And comfort. And joy. And a calling. For 20 years, this calling has been on the back burner. I've wanted it. I've dreamed of it. But I was in a comfortable job and raising my family. It just wasn't the time.
Fast forward almost 20 years later. I lost my job. In the devastation that comes with losing something that you've worked hard for over a 32 year period, came an excitement for what lie ahead. I would finally go to school and become what I'd dreamed. But then came a job offer to do the same job that I'd always done. Out of fear, I accepted. Fear and my belief that things happen for a reason - that my path included this new job. So I took it. But I also continued my journey to becoming what I'd wanted to be - an esthetician. I signed up for school. I loved school. When I did my first facial, I felt the joy I'd coveted. And it went on. Each facial, each body treatment, each service to a client, brought me new relationships. I met people who needed what I had to give - an hour of relaxation and touch. An hour of solitude and the gift of my attention. I loved it. All of it.
Sure, I'd love to be a millionaire too. As an esthetician, I will never achieve that status unless I win the lottery - which has nothing to do with esthetics! But I can tell you, that being a millionaire has never been my calling. I am so happy that I've followed my heart. Listen closely when your heart speaks. Keep dreaming. Keep dreaming.
Friday, April 18, 2014
How My House Lost Weight
a.k.a. What I've cleaned so far in my quest to simplify and what I've learned in the process.
Decluttering your closets and cupboards feels good! Really good! Decluttering your closets and cupboards can be slightly embarrassing. Or really embarrassing! I have a few more to do (3 cupboards) but other than that, the purging has been going smoothly.
While cleaning a cupboard the other day, I actually found a bag of sugar that was hard. Like a brick. A 5 pound brick. I must have bought it for Christmas cookie baking and tucked it into the wrong cupboard and forgot about it. Embarrassing! Sometimes I think silly thoughts like..."What if I die tomorrow and someone has to go through these drawers and closets and they find something like that brick of sugar? Or that bag of candy in the bottom of my closet that I bought for Christmas and forgot to put out? What will they think of me? Will they wonder out loud "Why does she have 6 cans of expired cannelloni beans in here?"
But back to what I've learned. I've learned that with decluttering, I'm not so overwhelmed by the stuff hidden behind the doors. I've learned that by decluttering the physical things, it begins to open up my mind to decluttering the mental things. I've learned that I don't need more "stuff". I've learned that it makes me freer to do the things I want to do and that it alleviates the guilt with doing the things I want to do when I'm not worried about the messes that I haven't attended to. I've learned that I have too much "stuff". I've learned to look at things with a critical eye to determine if it stays or goes and I've learned that sometimes it's easier than I thought to determine that it goes.And I've learned that when it's all been cleaned and organized and accounted for, that life is just easier.
In addition, I've taken the clutter out of my eating. I'm eating more simply. It makes cooking easier, the grocery bill smaller, and the food more healthy.
I'm almost done with the physical, house decluttering and look forward to the next phase. The mental decluttering. But I'll let you in on a little secret...when you begin the physical decluttering, the mental decluttering starts without any effort. And that, my friends, is freeing.
When all is said and done, and I lift the weight of of all of this clutter from my shoulders, it will accelerate my journey to concentrate on lifting the weight from my physical being. Wow. I think I've had an epiphany of sorts. I'm encouraged by my progress.
Total weight loss from decluttering: Probably about 100 pounds of garbage bags filled with stuff - including 5 pounds of brick hard sugar.
Have a wonderful, simple, uncomplicated day.
“The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go." Steve Maraboli
Decluttering your closets and cupboards feels good! Really good! Decluttering your closets and cupboards can be slightly embarrassing. Or really embarrassing! I have a few more to do (3 cupboards) but other than that, the purging has been going smoothly.
While cleaning a cupboard the other day, I actually found a bag of sugar that was hard. Like a brick. A 5 pound brick. I must have bought it for Christmas cookie baking and tucked it into the wrong cupboard and forgot about it. Embarrassing! Sometimes I think silly thoughts like..."What if I die tomorrow and someone has to go through these drawers and closets and they find something like that brick of sugar? Or that bag of candy in the bottom of my closet that I bought for Christmas and forgot to put out? What will they think of me? Will they wonder out loud "Why does she have 6 cans of expired cannelloni beans in here?"
But back to what I've learned. I've learned that with decluttering, I'm not so overwhelmed by the stuff hidden behind the doors. I've learned that by decluttering the physical things, it begins to open up my mind to decluttering the mental things. I've learned that I don't need more "stuff". I've learned that it makes me freer to do the things I want to do and that it alleviates the guilt with doing the things I want to do when I'm not worried about the messes that I haven't attended to. I've learned that I have too much "stuff". I've learned to look at things with a critical eye to determine if it stays or goes and I've learned that sometimes it's easier than I thought to determine that it goes.And I've learned that when it's all been cleaned and organized and accounted for, that life is just easier.
In addition, I've taken the clutter out of my eating. I'm eating more simply. It makes cooking easier, the grocery bill smaller, and the food more healthy.
I'm almost done with the physical, house decluttering and look forward to the next phase. The mental decluttering. But I'll let you in on a little secret...when you begin the physical decluttering, the mental decluttering starts without any effort. And that, my friends, is freeing.
When all is said and done, and I lift the weight of of all of this clutter from my shoulders, it will accelerate my journey to concentrate on lifting the weight from my physical being. Wow. I think I've had an epiphany of sorts. I'm encouraged by my progress.
Total weight loss from decluttering: Probably about 100 pounds of garbage bags filled with stuff - including 5 pounds of brick hard sugar.
Have a wonderful, simple, uncomplicated day.
“The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go." Steve Maraboli
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
I have a plan...
Counting calories. That's the plan. I've spent the last several weeks trying to determine the best path for me on my quest for a normal, comfortable weight. I pondered the whole "cookie/dozen cookies" conundrum. I looked at my eating habits. I tried to pinpoint my weaknesses. I don't have an answer. After all that pondering, I just don't have an answer. So I've decided to count calories. I downloaded an app, MyFitnessPal on my phone. And I'm counting. One meal at a time. I've been trying to ramp up the exercise -starting slow. One walk at a time. I don't always get 'er done, but I've started. And we all know that sometimes, that's the hardest part. Just getting up off the sofa, and taking those first steps - rain, shine, sleet, snow. Letting go of excuses and realizing that the end result DOES justify the means.
And I know, in the back of my mind, where my dreams lay, waiting to be realized, that with persevance and some determination, one of these days I'll step on the scale and see a number that doesn't fill me with dread. And I'll wake up in the moring and know that I will exercise because that is what I do.
I have it in me. I know I do.
And I know, in the back of my mind, where my dreams lay, waiting to be realized, that with persevance and some determination, one of these days I'll step on the scale and see a number that doesn't fill me with dread. And I'll wake up in the moring and know that I will exercise because that is what I do.
I have it in me. I know I do.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Harper Grace
Last night I finally got to meet the new addition to our family. Harper Grace. She was born six weeks ago to my nephew and his fiancee - a wonderful couple that I love very much. It is no secret to my family and friends that I love babies and I'd looked forward all week to finally getting the chance to meet her.
And what a joy it was! She's beautiful. And perfect. Content. Happy. What is it about a new baby that reminds you of the joys of life? The excitement of looking upon the innocence and curiosity of a newborn. I held her tiny hands in my large ones and marveled at the beauty of her tiny fingers, wrapped around mine. I languished in the smell of her babyness - the smell of lotion, Dreft, and baby sleep. The joy of watching her see the world and all the new people in it. How great is our God that in one little 9 pound bundle, he could give me a gift that made my heart swell with such love and appreciation of the life we've all been given? There is something so protective that overwhelms me and makes me want her world to be a blessed one - full of the happiness of childhood and adventures to come. There will be heartache in her future and I wish that were not so, but I know that with every little heartache will come lessons in love and life. And that it will continue, through all of her life. Even when she's 53.
I know that for the next while, when the pressures of life start to overwhelm me, when the fear of the unknown starts to creep in, I'll remember Harper Grace. The joy and excitement of all that is new will carry me through. I will remember that no matter what our age, or stage in life, that there is something new to see, to feel, to experience. Like her, I will try to look at the world as new - as something to learn from. I will try to focus my eyes differently to see things in a new way. And to take those lessons and move on. I will remember that each day, is, in it's own right, a rebirth. A chance to start again. I will remember all of that thanks to one little 9 pound bundle. Our little Harper Grace.
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Thoreau
And what a joy it was! She's beautiful. And perfect. Content. Happy. What is it about a new baby that reminds you of the joys of life? The excitement of looking upon the innocence and curiosity of a newborn. I held her tiny hands in my large ones and marveled at the beauty of her tiny fingers, wrapped around mine. I languished in the smell of her babyness - the smell of lotion, Dreft, and baby sleep. The joy of watching her see the world and all the new people in it. How great is our God that in one little 9 pound bundle, he could give me a gift that made my heart swell with such love and appreciation of the life we've all been given? There is something so protective that overwhelms me and makes me want her world to be a blessed one - full of the happiness of childhood and adventures to come. There will be heartache in her future and I wish that were not so, but I know that with every little heartache will come lessons in love and life. And that it will continue, through all of her life. Even when she's 53.
I know that for the next while, when the pressures of life start to overwhelm me, when the fear of the unknown starts to creep in, I'll remember Harper Grace. The joy and excitement of all that is new will carry me through. I will remember that no matter what our age, or stage in life, that there is something new to see, to feel, to experience. Like her, I will try to look at the world as new - as something to learn from. I will try to focus my eyes differently to see things in a new way. And to take those lessons and move on. I will remember that each day, is, in it's own right, a rebirth. A chance to start again. I will remember all of that thanks to one little 9 pound bundle. Our little Harper Grace.
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Thoreau
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Skin Care and My Love of Vitamin C
As an esthetician, I'm often asked by clients how to combat aging skin. Although nothing will stop the aging process, you can slow the process and enhance the quality of your skin. The following will help to keep aging skin (or young skin) looking and feeling healthy.
A Healthy Diet: There is no substitute for a healthy diet. Eating a diet high in vitamin boosting fruits and vegetables is the first key to healthier skin. In addition, healthy fats, fish, and plenty of water are shown to prevent wrinkles. Eating healthy provides the body with nutrients to encourage healthy skin from the inside out.
Exercise: Regular exercise is key to maintaining healthy circulation and blood flow to all body parts, including your skin! Adequate blood flow provides nutrients and hydration to skin. If exercising outside, remember to wear sunscreen!
A good skin care Regimen. Keeping skin clean and moisturized are crucial to maintaining healthy skin. While eating well and exercising work on your skin from the inside, using products that promote your skins health are key to working on your skin from the outside. Skin should be washed each night before bed to remove the make-up and toxins that build up during the day. It should be washed again in the morning to prepare for the day ahead and to remove sweat and debris that forms on the skin during sleep.
The following skin care basics should be in everyone's regimen:
1) A gentle skin cleanser. A skin cleanser should leave your skin feeling clean but not dry. Oily skin can tolerate, and often requires, an oil free cleanser, but skin should still not feel dry after using. Over-drying the skin can be counterproductive and cause the oil glands to overproduce oil that has been stripped in cleansing. Dry skin should be cleansed using a gentle cream or milk cleanser. I've found a gentle milk cleanser to work best on most combinations skin. I currently use an organic, vitamin C milk cleanser on my face that I am very happy with.
2) Eye Cream. The skin around the eyes is the thinnest on the body and will be the first to show age. Eye creams should be used every morning after cleansing. Eye creams are more gentle than an overall moisturizer and are specifically targeted for the skin around the eye. Eye creams should be age appropriate. A 20 year old will not have the same skin composition that a 50 year old will have. Using a cream that provides too much or too little will contradict the results you are trying to achieve.
3) Serum. I am a strong proponent of serum - especially a good vitamin C serum. Vitamin C is full of antioxidants when used in skin care. When applied to the skin, vitamin C lotion has been shown to protect the skin from harmful rays of the sun, lessen brown spots caused by sun damage and boost the production of collagen. There are several different serums on the market and you should research which one works best for you, but in my opinion, you get the best bang for your buck from a good vitamin C serum. I've noticed definite changes in the look of my skin when using vitamin C serum.
4) Moisturizer. Moisturizer is the "icing on the cake". A good moisturizer should make your skin feel soft without feeling greasy or oily. As with eye cream, moisturizers should be age appropriate. A moisturizer made for young skin (that tends to be more hydrated and oily) should not be used on older skin that may be dryer.
There are several other steps that can be added to a skin care regimen but the above are the basic steps that should be included in every routine. I currently use the Clinique eye roller every morning to reduce puffiness around my eyes. I use a regenerating serum at night under a moisturizer specifically targeting for nighttime and a gentle exfoliater twice a week. Although I struggle with weight and getting enough water, I try to make sure that I get plenty of fruits and vegetables in my diet. I also take several supplements, including vitamin C, to promote health from the inside.
If you are trying to find products that suit your skin, make appointments at your local cosmetic counters of department stores such as Macys or cosmetic specific stores like Sephora. Have your skin cleaned and moisturized by a product line and wear it for a day. See how your skin feels. If you like the way it feels, the products may be right for you. If you do not like the feel, try another line or another series from that particular line. Most lines carry products for skin that include oily, dry and combination. Don't be afraid to shop at these stores for the products as they do allow returns for products that don't work. Just make sure you return it within a few days and not when the bottles are empty!
A Healthy Diet: There is no substitute for a healthy diet. Eating a diet high in vitamin boosting fruits and vegetables is the first key to healthier skin. In addition, healthy fats, fish, and plenty of water are shown to prevent wrinkles. Eating healthy provides the body with nutrients to encourage healthy skin from the inside out.
Exercise: Regular exercise is key to maintaining healthy circulation and blood flow to all body parts, including your skin! Adequate blood flow provides nutrients and hydration to skin. If exercising outside, remember to wear sunscreen!
A good skin care Regimen. Keeping skin clean and moisturized are crucial to maintaining healthy skin. While eating well and exercising work on your skin from the inside, using products that promote your skins health are key to working on your skin from the outside. Skin should be washed each night before bed to remove the make-up and toxins that build up during the day. It should be washed again in the morning to prepare for the day ahead and to remove sweat and debris that forms on the skin during sleep.
The following skin care basics should be in everyone's regimen:
1) A gentle skin cleanser. A skin cleanser should leave your skin feeling clean but not dry. Oily skin can tolerate, and often requires, an oil free cleanser, but skin should still not feel dry after using. Over-drying the skin can be counterproductive and cause the oil glands to overproduce oil that has been stripped in cleansing. Dry skin should be cleansed using a gentle cream or milk cleanser. I've found a gentle milk cleanser to work best on most combinations skin. I currently use an organic, vitamin C milk cleanser on my face that I am very happy with.
2) Eye Cream. The skin around the eyes is the thinnest on the body and will be the first to show age. Eye creams should be used every morning after cleansing. Eye creams are more gentle than an overall moisturizer and are specifically targeted for the skin around the eye. Eye creams should be age appropriate. A 20 year old will not have the same skin composition that a 50 year old will have. Using a cream that provides too much or too little will contradict the results you are trying to achieve.
3) Serum. I am a strong proponent of serum - especially a good vitamin C serum. Vitamin C is full of antioxidants when used in skin care. When applied to the skin, vitamin C lotion has been shown to protect the skin from harmful rays of the sun, lessen brown spots caused by sun damage and boost the production of collagen. There are several different serums on the market and you should research which one works best for you, but in my opinion, you get the best bang for your buck from a good vitamin C serum. I've noticed definite changes in the look of my skin when using vitamin C serum.
4) Moisturizer. Moisturizer is the "icing on the cake". A good moisturizer should make your skin feel soft without feeling greasy or oily. As with eye cream, moisturizers should be age appropriate. A moisturizer made for young skin (that tends to be more hydrated and oily) should not be used on older skin that may be dryer.
There are several other steps that can be added to a skin care regimen but the above are the basic steps that should be included in every routine. I currently use the Clinique eye roller every morning to reduce puffiness around my eyes. I use a regenerating serum at night under a moisturizer specifically targeting for nighttime and a gentle exfoliater twice a week. Although I struggle with weight and getting enough water, I try to make sure that I get plenty of fruits and vegetables in my diet. I also take several supplements, including vitamin C, to promote health from the inside.
If you are trying to find products that suit your skin, make appointments at your local cosmetic counters of department stores such as Macys or cosmetic specific stores like Sephora. Have your skin cleaned and moisturized by a product line and wear it for a day. See how your skin feels. If you like the way it feels, the products may be right for you. If you do not like the feel, try another line or another series from that particular line. Most lines carry products for skin that include oily, dry and combination. Don't be afraid to shop at these stores for the products as they do allow returns for products that don't work. Just make sure you return it within a few days and not when the bottles are empty!
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
The benefits of being unemployed
1) A clean house
2) Time to think about future goals.
3) A chance to find my dream job as an esthetician.
4) Not having to drive in snowstorms, on icy, slippery roads.
5) Not getting hung up in morning traffic because someone drove too fast on icy, slippery roads, causing an accident that backs traffic up for miles.
6) Saving money by not having to buy coffee on the way to work because the coffee at work is so horrible.
7) Saving money on gas because I don't have to make the above-mentioned drive.
8) Grocery shopping during the day when the store is not so crowded!
9) Letting my hair air dry instead of using all of my "heat" tools (blow dryer, curling iron).
10) Getting to run my errands at leisure instead of having to cram them all into my one hour lunch or doing them after a long day of work.
2) Time to think about future goals.
3) A chance to find my dream job as an esthetician.
4) Not having to drive in snowstorms, on icy, slippery roads.
5) Not getting hung up in morning traffic because someone drove too fast on icy, slippery roads, causing an accident that backs traffic up for miles.
6) Saving money by not having to buy coffee on the way to work because the coffee at work is so horrible.
7) Saving money on gas because I don't have to make the above-mentioned drive.
8) Grocery shopping during the day when the store is not so crowded!
9) Letting my hair air dry instead of using all of my "heat" tools (blow dryer, curling iron).
10) Getting to run my errands at leisure instead of having to cram them all into my one hour lunch or doing them after a long day of work.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
So, what is this Reiki stuff anyway?
As a Reiki practitioner, I’m often asked what Reiki is. The answer is always difficult for me. How do you explain the transfer of positive energy from one individual to another in terms that make is sound solid, concrete? How do you explain the sense of peace and well being that come from a session?
My training and attunement came during my classes at The Center for Reiki Wellness in Rochester with Reiki Master Cyndy Paxton. I became interested in Reiki many years ago while watching a TV show that was spotlighting attempts to transform the lives of different participants on the show. I remember one of the participants being given Reiki treatments and my interest was peaked. Fast forward several years later when a friend of mine was going through some severe health problems that could not be diagnosed. She was sent to a neurologist who could find no physical reason for her symptoms. He employed a Reiki healer in his practice and suggested my friend schedule an appointment. She did and she “felt” something. I quickly made an appointment for my own Reiki session and found a sense of peace after the session that stayed with me for some time. Money was tight and I was unable to follow up with additional sessions but the session I did have stayed with me. Fast forward several more years and another close friend of mine was given a gift certificate for a Reiki session. She and I discussed the session beforehand and I told her what little I knew. This session proved life changing for her. She found her destiny in that one session and is now the Reiki master from whom I study.
So back to the question…what is Reiki?
“Reiki” (ray-key) is Japanese for ‘universal life energy’ (“rei” stands for unseen and “ki” means life force or energy). It is also a word used to describe a system of natural healing. This tradition was founded by Dr Mikao Usui in the early 20th century and evolved as a result of his research, experience and dedication. Reiki promotes self healing and is not a substitute for medical care, but works in conjunction with it. The core treatment of Reiki involves your Chakras (the seven energy centers of your body) along with your aura (the field of energy around your body). We live in a world of energy that nourishes and maintains all living things. When this energy flows uninterrupted, there is a balance and harmony within and around us which creates a sense of well being. When this flow is interrupted, it can cause disease – emotionally and / or physically.
What happens during a Reiki session?
Before the session begins, a discussion will take place to determine the areas of concern, if any. Some people arrive for a session with no answer to this question. They feel some sense of discourse, but cannot identify it. A pendulum is used to determine the status of the seven chakras and a general sense of the individual’s aura. You will lie on a massage table, fully clothed. During the session, you may experience touch by the practitioner in areas of the body – usually the head, shoulders, stomach, arms, legs and feet. There is no massage and participants can opt for a no-touch session if uncomfortable with touch. Participants may feel warmth or tingling in the areas being concentrated on, see colors, or experience forms of “release”. A typical session is one hour in length and at the end of a session, the participant should feel a deep sense of relaxation.
What does Reiki Treat?
Reiki treats your mind, body and sprit by working from the inside out on root cause. It works on the emotional issues that may cause or intensify physical ailments. Reiki can be beneficial for those suffering from chronic illness as it works on the root causes of unbalance within the body. Like meditation, it can create a sense of calm within the body that promotes physical and mental healing.
How do I use Reiki?
As a practitioner, I often use Reiki to center myself, especially when I am looking for answers that I seek. Reiki has no basis in religion although I do use it as a meditation conduit to seek answers from my own God. My own alignment leaves me open to actually listen to the answers that I seek. A cluttered mind makes it more difficult to “hear” answers when they are given. Reiki quiets my mind and allows my energy to flow where it is needed. I find I waste less energy worrying about “the little things” and can concentrate more on the task at hand. I also find things less daunting and find peace in the unknown when I stop to let my energy flow.
So this is an overview of Reiki. A very standard, uncomplicated overview. If you have further questions, please ask!
My training and attunement came during my classes at The Center for Reiki Wellness in Rochester with Reiki Master Cyndy Paxton. I became interested in Reiki many years ago while watching a TV show that was spotlighting attempts to transform the lives of different participants on the show. I remember one of the participants being given Reiki treatments and my interest was peaked. Fast forward several years later when a friend of mine was going through some severe health problems that could not be diagnosed. She was sent to a neurologist who could find no physical reason for her symptoms. He employed a Reiki healer in his practice and suggested my friend schedule an appointment. She did and she “felt” something. I quickly made an appointment for my own Reiki session and found a sense of peace after the session that stayed with me for some time. Money was tight and I was unable to follow up with additional sessions but the session I did have stayed with me. Fast forward several more years and another close friend of mine was given a gift certificate for a Reiki session. She and I discussed the session beforehand and I told her what little I knew. This session proved life changing for her. She found her destiny in that one session and is now the Reiki master from whom I study.
So back to the question…what is Reiki?
“Reiki” (ray-key) is Japanese for ‘universal life energy’ (“rei” stands for unseen and “ki” means life force or energy). It is also a word used to describe a system of natural healing. This tradition was founded by Dr Mikao Usui in the early 20th century and evolved as a result of his research, experience and dedication. Reiki promotes self healing and is not a substitute for medical care, but works in conjunction with it. The core treatment of Reiki involves your Chakras (the seven energy centers of your body) along with your aura (the field of energy around your body). We live in a world of energy that nourishes and maintains all living things. When this energy flows uninterrupted, there is a balance and harmony within and around us which creates a sense of well being. When this flow is interrupted, it can cause disease – emotionally and / or physically.
What happens during a Reiki session?
Before the session begins, a discussion will take place to determine the areas of concern, if any. Some people arrive for a session with no answer to this question. They feel some sense of discourse, but cannot identify it. A pendulum is used to determine the status of the seven chakras and a general sense of the individual’s aura. You will lie on a massage table, fully clothed. During the session, you may experience touch by the practitioner in areas of the body – usually the head, shoulders, stomach, arms, legs and feet. There is no massage and participants can opt for a no-touch session if uncomfortable with touch. Participants may feel warmth or tingling in the areas being concentrated on, see colors, or experience forms of “release”. A typical session is one hour in length and at the end of a session, the participant should feel a deep sense of relaxation.
What does Reiki Treat?
Reiki treats your mind, body and sprit by working from the inside out on root cause. It works on the emotional issues that may cause or intensify physical ailments. Reiki can be beneficial for those suffering from chronic illness as it works on the root causes of unbalance within the body. Like meditation, it can create a sense of calm within the body that promotes physical and mental healing.
How do I use Reiki?
As a practitioner, I often use Reiki to center myself, especially when I am looking for answers that I seek. Reiki has no basis in religion although I do use it as a meditation conduit to seek answers from my own God. My own alignment leaves me open to actually listen to the answers that I seek. A cluttered mind makes it more difficult to “hear” answers when they are given. Reiki quiets my mind and allows my energy to flow where it is needed. I find I waste less energy worrying about “the little things” and can concentrate more on the task at hand. I also find things less daunting and find peace in the unknown when I stop to let my energy flow.
So this is an overview of Reiki. A very standard, uncomplicated overview. If you have further questions, please ask!
Friday, March 21, 2014
Try to make this life my own....
Yesterday was officially the first day of spring. I think they forgot to send upstate New York the memo. It was cold and snowing. Another storm. Lighter than many we’ve had this year, but a snowstorm just the same. Everywhere you go in our cold city, the question is the same…is this winter ever going to end?
In my frenzy to finish projects related to the house, I hadn’t completed my goal to “walk one mile”. Just one mile. I planned no more, no less. Since I had it as a goal for the day, I knew I had to follow through. I live in an area with no sidewalks, so I decided to go to the local college and walk the track. It was around 7:00pm. Darkness was falling and the wind was blowing. The track was covered with a mixture of snow and ice that crunched under my sneakers as I walked. My plan was only one mile. Four laps. I turned on my iPod and started my journey.
Halfway into the first lap, my cheeks began to burn. My eyes watered. The wind was ruthless, bitter. I felt the cold seep into my bones. I tried to concentrate on the music and putting one foot in front of the other but my mind kept wandering to the fact that I was cold, uncomfortable. I was approaching the exit for the track and struggled with my thoughts. I wanted to stop. The angel on my right shoulder screamed at me. “Don’t stop! You have a goal. Quitting will just put you that much further from the goal. Stopping will mean defeat. Defeat is your enemy. Stopping means giving in to the discomfort – which is why you’re failed so many times in the past.” The devil on my left shoulder said “Stop. Go home. Get warm.” “Give yourself one more round”, my angel said. “One more round and then decide.” I walked past the exit.
Round two became colder. The light continued to fade. My fingers and ankles were numb. The exit was approaching. Halfway there. Halfway. The devil said “Just stop. No one will know." The angel said “Just finish. Please, just finish the mile. You will know if you quit. YOU will know”. I passed the exit.
Round three – colder still. Less light. But now I knew I would finish. My thoughts became less taunting. I began to think about my goals for the next day. My goals for my life. I began to strategize. I felt my body relax into the walk. The devil on my left shoulder left me and the Angel on my right breathed a sigh of relief.
Round four. I was now in darkness except for the lights that illuminated the parking lot next to the track. One step at a time. I’m so cold. And then it happened. A song came on to the iPod. A song I needed to hear. Thank you Foo Fighters.
I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking 'cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly high.
Make my way back home when I learn to...
...fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own
I finished lap four, excited, happy, energized. Trying to make this life my own. Ready to take on the world. Ready to fly. Excited because despite the storm, I carried on and finished what I set out to do. I thought about how this winter is a metaphor for my life.
The storms come. And sometimes they arrive one after another. They just keep blowing in, leaving me battered and cold. Stinging my cheeks. Making my eyes water. Making me forget that when they pass there will be calm. I just have to remember to keep going. Keep walking. Keep believing that, at the end, there is a spring.
And remember to thank the Angel on my right shoulder…and the Foo Fighters.
In my frenzy to finish projects related to the house, I hadn’t completed my goal to “walk one mile”. Just one mile. I planned no more, no less. Since I had it as a goal for the day, I knew I had to follow through. I live in an area with no sidewalks, so I decided to go to the local college and walk the track. It was around 7:00pm. Darkness was falling and the wind was blowing. The track was covered with a mixture of snow and ice that crunched under my sneakers as I walked. My plan was only one mile. Four laps. I turned on my iPod and started my journey.
Halfway into the first lap, my cheeks began to burn. My eyes watered. The wind was ruthless, bitter. I felt the cold seep into my bones. I tried to concentrate on the music and putting one foot in front of the other but my mind kept wandering to the fact that I was cold, uncomfortable. I was approaching the exit for the track and struggled with my thoughts. I wanted to stop. The angel on my right shoulder screamed at me. “Don’t stop! You have a goal. Quitting will just put you that much further from the goal. Stopping will mean defeat. Defeat is your enemy. Stopping means giving in to the discomfort – which is why you’re failed so many times in the past.” The devil on my left shoulder said “Stop. Go home. Get warm.” “Give yourself one more round”, my angel said. “One more round and then decide.” I walked past the exit.
Round two became colder. The light continued to fade. My fingers and ankles were numb. The exit was approaching. Halfway there. Halfway. The devil said “Just stop. No one will know." The angel said “Just finish. Please, just finish the mile. You will know if you quit. YOU will know”. I passed the exit.
Round three – colder still. Less light. But now I knew I would finish. My thoughts became less taunting. I began to think about my goals for the next day. My goals for my life. I began to strategize. I felt my body relax into the walk. The devil on my left shoulder left me and the Angel on my right breathed a sigh of relief.
Round four. I was now in darkness except for the lights that illuminated the parking lot next to the track. One step at a time. I’m so cold. And then it happened. A song came on to the iPod. A song I needed to hear. Thank you Foo Fighters.
I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking 'cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly high.
Make my way back home when I learn to...
...fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own
I finished lap four, excited, happy, energized. Trying to make this life my own. Ready to take on the world. Ready to fly. Excited because despite the storm, I carried on and finished what I set out to do. I thought about how this winter is a metaphor for my life.
The storms come. And sometimes they arrive one after another. They just keep blowing in, leaving me battered and cold. Stinging my cheeks. Making my eyes water. Making me forget that when they pass there will be calm. I just have to remember to keep going. Keep walking. Keep believing that, at the end, there is a spring.
And remember to thank the Angel on my right shoulder…and the Foo Fighters.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Simplicity...
One of my goals in this journey, is to rid myself of the clutter in my home and life. The things hidden behind closed doors - figuratively and metaphorically. I'd like to simplify but I struggle with where to begin. When is it enough? When do I start? Do I start with the physical de-cluttering or the mental de-cluttering. Or do I work on them simultaneously?
I spent the day cleaning my home. The bathrooms are scrubbed. The floors are mopped. The dust is gone and the mirrors are shiny. But please...please don't open that cupboard door. Or look in that closet. Or ask me to tell you what goes on in my head. The clutter there is overwhelming. It will spill out the moment you crack the door. And the mess will be there for everyone to see.
Yesterday I began. I cleaned my bedroom closet. I threw things away. I organized. Nothing I parted with made me think for more than a second. So why was it there to begin with? Why would I hang on to something that I didn't need? That had a hole? That didn't fit? That wasn't useful? That didn't contribute to my life in a positive way?
So I've set my sights on the physical de-cluttering. And when that's done, I'll move on to the mental de-cluttering. And I'll try to focus on the one task at a time and give no mind to the overwhelming tasks that remain. And in the end, I hope to feel lighter, clearer, not so burdened. Calm.
I spent the day cleaning my home. The bathrooms are scrubbed. The floors are mopped. The dust is gone and the mirrors are shiny. But please...please don't open that cupboard door. Or look in that closet. Or ask me to tell you what goes on in my head. The clutter there is overwhelming. It will spill out the moment you crack the door. And the mess will be there for everyone to see.
Yesterday I began. I cleaned my bedroom closet. I threw things away. I organized. Nothing I parted with made me think for more than a second. So why was it there to begin with? Why would I hang on to something that I didn't need? That had a hole? That didn't fit? That wasn't useful? That didn't contribute to my life in a positive way?
So I've set my sights on the physical de-cluttering. And when that's done, I'll move on to the mental de-cluttering. And I'll try to focus on the one task at a time and give no mind to the overwhelming tasks that remain. And in the end, I hope to feel lighter, clearer, not so burdened. Calm.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
My head is spinning...
Who said dieting is easy? Or should I refer to it as a "life change"?
Google diet options....here's a sneak peek at what you'll find...
Slimfast. Weight Watchers. Medifast. Jenny Craig. Raw Food. Biggest Loser. Low Fat. Mediterranean. Carb Lovers (is there a carb hater in the world?). Dr. Oz. Soup Diet. Body for Life. The Zone. South Beach.
And this is only a small glimpse of what's out there!
And exercise! Another overwhelming list of choices...
Weight lifting. Running. Walking. Yoga. Pilates. Barre. Zumba. Spinning. Step Aerobics. Body Pump. Jazzercise. Boot Camp.
Once again - overwhelming.
So how do you go from a couch potato to an exercise enthusiast? How do I choose which "life change" fits best with MY life? Will I give up foods or will I enjoy them all but in small quantities? There's arguments for both sides. Sometimes one cookie leads to a dozen. Maybe many times one cookie leads to a dozen. Maybe there is a good argument for restriction. Maybe some people have to stay away from the cookies - like an alcoholic to booze or a drug addict to their next hit. Or by denying myself, will I suddenly crave with vengeance that which I can't have and then give up in a crazy inhalation of every cookie within reach? Where does my weakness reside? Where is my balance point? Can I eat just one cookie? Can I live without the cookies forever?
I have some research to do! I've tried many of these diets in the past with just as many failures. This next one has to stick. I'm accountable now - I've shared too much. Those of you that read this will hold me accountable. I have a goal. Again. I reach goals all the time - this one just continues to elude me. I know what my exercise of choice will be right now. I will start by walking. Just putting one foot in front of the other. One step at a time. As for the "life change" - I will take it one food choice at a time while I sort out which method will work best for me. Slowly. Surely. Keeping my balance. Calm.
Google diet options....here's a sneak peek at what you'll find...
Slimfast. Weight Watchers. Medifast. Jenny Craig. Raw Food. Biggest Loser. Low Fat. Mediterranean. Carb Lovers (is there a carb hater in the world?). Dr. Oz. Soup Diet. Body for Life. The Zone. South Beach.
And this is only a small glimpse of what's out there!
And exercise! Another overwhelming list of choices...
Weight lifting. Running. Walking. Yoga. Pilates. Barre. Zumba. Spinning. Step Aerobics. Body Pump. Jazzercise. Boot Camp.
Once again - overwhelming.
So how do you go from a couch potato to an exercise enthusiast? How do I choose which "life change" fits best with MY life? Will I give up foods or will I enjoy them all but in small quantities? There's arguments for both sides. Sometimes one cookie leads to a dozen. Maybe many times one cookie leads to a dozen. Maybe there is a good argument for restriction. Maybe some people have to stay away from the cookies - like an alcoholic to booze or a drug addict to their next hit. Or by denying myself, will I suddenly crave with vengeance that which I can't have and then give up in a crazy inhalation of every cookie within reach? Where does my weakness reside? Where is my balance point? Can I eat just one cookie? Can I live without the cookies forever?
I have some research to do! I've tried many of these diets in the past with just as many failures. This next one has to stick. I'm accountable now - I've shared too much. Those of you that read this will hold me accountable. I have a goal. Again. I reach goals all the time - this one just continues to elude me. I know what my exercise of choice will be right now. I will start by walking. Just putting one foot in front of the other. One step at a time. As for the "life change" - I will take it one food choice at a time while I sort out which method will work best for me. Slowly. Surely. Keeping my balance. Calm.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
In the beginning....
53. Recently unemployed. Overweight. Realizing a dream of graduating from school and becoming a licensed esthetician. 34 years of work in a corporate setting. Happily married for 31 wonderful years. Two beautiful children. Happy. Calme.
Who thinks that at this age, in this stage of life, that they would be attempting to recreate themselves. I've always dreamed of a new start in my career. And now I have that opportunity. But along with that, I yearn for a simple life. No clutter. I long to wake up in the morning refreshed and excited for each new day...not dreading the day ahead. Administrative work was NEVER my dream. But I landed there, and I stuck it out for 34 years. Now, the decision to move ahead has been made for me by the simple phrase "We have eliminated your position." Said by someone with with no remorse. Even as they apologized for having to let me go, knowing their words were insincere. Feeling the fear of the unknown and yet the elation at finally being set free.
So now I will begin my new journey with my supportive husband and children cheering me on. My goals are to de-clutter my life. Finally find the strength within to lose this weight. To seek the career I've always dreamed of. To intensify the happiness I've always felt and to make the choices that will move me forward. To start this new journey. Happy. Calme.
Who thinks that at this age, in this stage of life, that they would be attempting to recreate themselves. I've always dreamed of a new start in my career. And now I have that opportunity. But along with that, I yearn for a simple life. No clutter. I long to wake up in the morning refreshed and excited for each new day...not dreading the day ahead. Administrative work was NEVER my dream. But I landed there, and I stuck it out for 34 years. Now, the decision to move ahead has been made for me by the simple phrase "We have eliminated your position." Said by someone with with no remorse. Even as they apologized for having to let me go, knowing their words were insincere. Feeling the fear of the unknown and yet the elation at finally being set free.
So now I will begin my new journey with my supportive husband and children cheering me on. My goals are to de-clutter my life. Finally find the strength within to lose this weight. To seek the career I've always dreamed of. To intensify the happiness I've always felt and to make the choices that will move me forward. To start this new journey. Happy. Calme.
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