Struggling Through

So, dieting is hard.  It stinks (I can think of other words but they're not printable).  It's boring and frustrating.  No matter what, there is a certain feeling of deprivation when you are eating well but all you want is a banana split.  I have been craving a banana split.  Do you know how often I used to eat them?  Never.  So why am I craving one now.  I blame it on the diet.

That said, March has been hard for other reasons.  Ken and I decided to implement a "No Spend March" policy - another deprivation of sorts.  Except for living expenses (groceries, gas, bills), we'd spend no extraneous funds.  No going out to eat.  No movies or events.  No purchases that would tap the always shaky bank account.  It stinks (again, I'm using the kind word here).  So, what has been the result?  We do have more money in the bank!  Yay!  The bills are paid early.  But there are drawbacks....I am out of vitamin C serum, my beloved Clinique eye stick, face powder, concealer and low on my favorite lipstick .  Woe is me!  I'm an esthetician for crying out loud!  My skin is my livelihood!  I laughingly told Ken last night that "No spend March" is going to turn into "High Spend April" while I try to replenish my dimished supplies.  In the meantime, I'm lying low.  I'm using lipsticks I don't like as well and sporting under eye circles and puffiness (they're the new black).  One more week and I'll look rested again - albeit a fake restfulness created by smoke and mirrors (concealer, powder and face-brightening lip color).

In the end, "No Spend March" is a good thing.  It brings in line your spending mindfulness.  It reminds you to ask yourself if the purchase is a need or a want.  We've done this before and we've survived.  We'll survive again.  I've been better at sticking to my grocery budget because of it.  The bank account has remained stable, the eating has been cleaner, and life is as wonderful as it has always been.  It reminds me that it isn't what we can purchase that brings us happiness but the relationships and the joy of knowing that I have enough.  That home is just where I want it to be.  That I love my life and that no "thing" will bring me joy as much as my loved ones and my day-to-day existence.